Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, written with Nell Scovell and published by Knopf in 2013, is a book about why so few women reach the top of companies and governments, and what women, men and employers can do about it. Sandberg wrote it while she was chief operating officer of Facebook, building on a widely watched talk she gave about the shortage of women leaders. It became one of the most discussed business books of its decade and launched a network of peer groups for women.
What is Lean In about?
Sandberg’s argument has two halves. The first is that outside barriers are real: bias, unequal pay, weak family policies and the expectation that women do most of the care at home. The second, and the one the book spends most time on, is that women also absorb messages that make them pull back: undervaluing their work, staying quiet in meetings, turning down stretch roles and planning their exit from a career long before children arrive. She asks women to “lean in” to ambition while also pushing for change around them.
The chapters move between personal stories from Sandberg’s career at the US Treasury, Google and Facebook, research on gender and leadership, and practical advice. Topics include negotiating pay, finding sponsors instead of chasing mentors, why being liked and being successful pull apart for women, building a career through sideways moves, sharing housework with a partner and letting go of the idea of doing everything perfectly.
What made it stand out in 2013 was the combination: a very senior executive speaking openly about her own fear and self-doubt, backed by studies, and naming the home as a workplace issue. For founders, the sections on negotiation, likeability and asking for what you want apply directly to fundraising and sales.
What are the main lessons for founders?
- Speak first and sit at the table. Founders who wait to be invited into the conversation lose deals and hires. Practise stating your view early in investor and partner meetings.
- Negotiate with a reason attached. Sandberg describes how women who ask for more face pushback, and suggests framing requests around shared goals. Use the same approach when setting prices or discussing valuation.
- Look for sponsors. People who open doors for you come from doing excellent work in front of them, rarely from asking strangers to mentor you. Show your progress to the people you want in your corner.
- Plan the home like the business. A co-founder at home matters as much as a co-founder at work. Divide care and household work openly before a launch or a funding round.
- Done beats perfect. Trying to excel at everything burns founders out. Pick what must be excellent this quarter and accept good enough elsewhere.
Who should read Lean In?
It suits women in the first ten years of a career or a company, especially those who hesitate to ask for money, credit or the top role. Men who manage women, and male co-founders, also gain from the chapters on bias and shared parenting. Founders preparing for tough negotiations will find the likeability research useful.
Skip it if you want a startup manual. The book is about careers inside large organisations, and it says little about building a company from nothing.
How do you put Lean In to work this week?
- In every meeting this week, make one clear statement or request in the first ten minutes and note how people respond.
- Write down one thing you have not asked for: a higher price, a raise for yourself, an introduction or a speaking slot. Ask for it with a reason tied to the other person’s goals.
- Sit down with your partner or household and list every recurring task, then agree who owns what for the next month.
To build the habit of speaking up with more ease, the free Confidence module of the Fe/male Switch Startup School gives short daily exercises.
Where does Lean In fall short?
The book’s main critique is well known. Critics argued that it speaks to well-off, educated women with good childcare and supportive partners, and that it puts too much weight on women changing their behaviour instead of on changing workplaces and policy. Sandberg herself later said that after her husband’s death she understood far better how hard work is for single parents. The examples come from big tech and big companies, so founders must translate them. The book also covers race and class only briefly. For a wider, global view of the barriers women face, read The Moment of Lift, and for the money side, read We Should All Be Millionaires.